5 reasons why the Portuguese are the kindest people in the world

KINDNESS, that is what I came across by the bucketful whenever I set foot on Portuguese soil. People are so friendly, accommodating and simply can't do enough for me. Frankly, it's something I am not used to, not to that degree anyway. That's why, in my opinion, the Portuguese, lead the way when it comes to being thoroughly decent human beings. Here are five reasons why they would win gold at the Random Acts of Kindness Olympics:

1. Generosity of spirit: My two sons and I spent our first holiday at the Velamar Hotel (now called Velamar Sun and Beach) in Olhos de Agua at a price that was mind-blowingly good. Around £16 a night for three  - bed and breakfast! And that breakfast was superb, as were the staff. I have been lucky enough to stay in the occasional 5-star hotel on press trips and the staff at the Velamar were just as good, if not better. This brings  me to the first thing I have noticed about many Portuguese people, they have a great generosity of spirit. And this is in spite of having little money. The country was hit hard in the recession, tourism is seasonal and salaries are low. Around 800 euros a month is a typical wage. And yet they still can't do enough for you. Generosity of spirit is nothing to do with money, it is a state of mind. By the way, the Velamar has been taken over and prices had to rise but it is still very reasonable, particularly out of season, and a good place to stay. Velamar brekkie and sun loungers below, though the sunbathing area has been revamped since then.

2. They are SO giving! My partner loves holiday mementoes but often not the ones you would expect. One day he randomly offered to buy a Super Bock tissue holder from the owner of a bar, and suggested giving him 20 euros. He would not accept the cash, wouldn't hear of it in fact. Then, as we walked away, he came running after us and thrust this into our hand as a gift. It takes pride of place on our 'bar' at home, nestling up to the Bass beer mat.

3. Free drinks!  We get on very well with a bar owner called Nelson, in Olhos. He is passionate about his country, his nation's food and his home village. His wife is a superb cook and made us a special dish of the region to order. We were so impressed we gave his bar, Nelson's, a good review on TripAdvisor. He noticed it and, when we returned to the country months later, insisted on giving us free drinks, not once, not twice, but  three times!! Eventually we persuaded him to take our cash.... he VERY reluctantly did so, then,  minutes later, appeared.... with a free bowl of lamb curry for us to try.  What a lovely bloke.  Another TripAdvisor reviewer mentioned that when their cab failed to turn up to get them to the airport, Nelson leapt into his car to get them there. He is a star. Here he is with his freshly-caught fish...

 

 

4. Unexpected gifts: After a meal in Portugal it is customary to be given a free glass of port and, at restaurant Calheiros, this duly arrived in the most beautiful, tiny but thick glass. My partner, Martin, asked where he could buy the glasses as he liked them so much.  The waitress explained that they were special antique glasses that you could not buy anywhere anymore. As we got up to leave after paying our bill she came flying over to him, with a gift. One of those exquisite glasses was wrapped up for him in tissue paper. Christmas had come early...

 

 

5. Generous with time: Working hard, long hours does not seem to affect the Portuguese people's ability to spare time to help you. As I mentioned before, nothing seems  too much trouble. And their command of English puts my Portuguese to shame. I could give numerous examples of this but just take my word for it. Maybe it helps that the sun shines so much, maybe it's because the materialistic dominance of life in England is non-existent. Maybe we should take a leaf out of their book. They say money can't buy you love, or happiness. And people who have less are often happier. In the UK we work ourselves into an early grave to line the pockets of the few. More time, less money and a better quality of life has to be the way forward.  In many ways, Portugal has got it licked.



The Portuguese dog with the powers of hypnotist Derren Brown

Meet Mr Straggly Tale.... the chap who wanted my Cataplana

 

 

 

 

To be honest, Portugal isn't a country awash with strays but you do see the odd dog and cat which look a little the worse for wear. This cute little chap came and sat by our table at  Calheiros, a nice little restaurant in Olhos de Agua ... he starred into our eyes, like the doggie version of Derren Brown (a famous English hypnotist), and  sent us a psychic message which, translated into English, was: "Any chance of a bit of your Cataplana, or at least some of your meat kebab?"

 

How could we resist a doleful look like that? Impossible! Naturally we gave in and rewarded Mr Straggly Tale with a chunk of sausage. Or three!

We Brits do take pity on animals, at home and abroad.

A few sun-drenched feral cats live in Portugal. One very famous one is a street cat Mr No Ears, who has nearly 22,000 friends on Facebook and a Twitter account. Anger has erupted over his abduction from Albufeira and his followers are demanding his return. 

The story about the cat abduction is the best read tale in newspaper The Portugal News. 

I haven't seen Mr Big Ears on any trips to Albufeira but have spotted a cat almost identical to this white wonder in Olhos. But he has one ear and no tail. I see him basking in the sun near San Martino's pizza restaurant and always  give him a nice stroke. He  purrs for England. Hope Mr No Ears is safe and well. Find him on twitter at @mrnoears or search for him on Facebook. People love him because they say he looks proud and content despite his many health issues.

Slush for tea? Be careful, you may get Fatos...5 daft holiday snaps!

PLEASE tell me I am not alone in taking pictures of daft things on holiday? Surely, everyone does it. After all, you can only take so many sun, sea and sand shots. And showing off Portugal's glorious beaches does tend to nark people after  a while. So let's  try something new. Five holiday snaps taken just because they made me smile, like this inviting sign. YUM!

And I wasn't quite sure what to make of the contents of this clothes shop....

 

'Feed the fish' was a phrase often heard in Derby when striker Conor Sammon played for Derby County FC. Well, how about feeding the fish for real...

 

Just watch the rascal doesn't bite your hand off when you offer him a generous portion of your breakfast bread and butter. There are some very happy, tubby fish in Portugal fed by generous British holidaymakers. We love our birds and animals. I heard today that 50 per event of British people feed wild birds, so much so some of our feathered friends are delaying winging it to warmer climates in Autumn. They just pork out in our back gardens! But I digress. The next picture is more jaw-dropping than amusing because we Brits can never get over how cheap alcohol is in some foreign countries. We are taxed to high heaven on it in the UK. That's why I couldn't resist this photo...

 

 

 

ONE euro is about 72p... for a pint!!!! So the drinks are on me, folks, at that bar! The beer is incredibly cheap but I am picky. When it comes to those two famous Portuguese brews, Sagres and Super Bock there is only one, very clear winner. When the heat is on, this is the perfect refresher...

 

Sagres, I am sad to say, and it is only my opinion, sucks...

6 REALLY good reasons to escape the UK for a bit

1. Crazed speed monsters on roads so overloaded with vehicles, life feels like one, long traffic jam. How long does it take me to get to and  from work? Most of the day and then some! And everyone is in a rush, even if they're only going to their mum's for Sunday tea. Road rage UK is a crazy place to be and, unless your name is Lewis Hamilton, you will struggle to keep pace. Beware foreign visitors, driving in Britain ain't nice.

2. We're a tiny island surrounded by sea and sand but get hardly any sun! All that beach and, for the most part, if you attempt to walk across one the wind holds you back, your hair shooting out behind you like a flame, waterproofs plastered to your body as the rain  pummels down relentlessly. It's grim and, sadly, because of our dire weather a lot of seaside towns are lost and forlorn relics of a past before cheap flights abroad arrived.

3. Intense, money-obsessed, materialistic lives driven by greed. New cars and keeping up with Jones's is a nauseating pastime. As for taking selfies.... give me strength.

4. The Daily Mail, David Cameron, George Osborne, elitist Oxbridge university clubs with #piggate scandals, Simon Cowell and all those stupid TV reality shows. Flock Stars was the final straw for me. And Simon, some people don't want to see a dog win BGT.  A cat, maybe....

5. Snobbery and thinking we're something special when some Brits have less charm than a baboon's armpit. And what's with all the tattoos and piercing!? David Beckham's got a lot to answer for.

6. The north-south divide. We are a very uneven nation with most of the wealth greedily swallowed up by the south east. The joke is no-one in the south is aware of anything north of Watford. Actually, that's not a joke. It's a fact. When the BBC decided to relocate staff to Manchester no one wanted to go. They had to practically beg people to leave London, which is odd because whenever I go to London I can't wait to get away from the place.

So, it's hardly surprising I regularly feel the need to swap all that for my beloved Portugal.
And sorry for the rant. It's not been the best of Mondays, and it's raining. Again. Just feast your eyes on this and look to the horizon.... it's picture therapy time....

Fancy a bit of cheese Gromit?

Is this, or is this not, one of the best cheese boards you have EVER seen? Now c'mon Mary Berry, THIS is  a showstopper! This amazing creation was made by the chefs at the Falesia Hotel in Acoteias. Pretty decent, huh?

To be honest, I have had trouble finding the variety of food we are used to in multi-cultural UK in Portugal but, over time, this is what I have discovered....

Giant doughnuts are a sizzling sensation and as cheap as chips from street vendors.

 

The tomatoes and food in general at Loule food market ....

 

 

 are AMAZING! Real local produce. You don't have to spout on about stuff being organic, it just IS!

As for the fish, glorious fish, it dominates the menus everywhere. But we have had trouble finding places that serve it with flair.  After years of looking, we discovered the small, privately owned, possibly inconspicuous cafe-restaurants are the best, like Nelson's in Olhos de Agua

MEET NELSON! He is quite a character and a great bloke. The last time we saw him we ended up chucking a 10 euro note at each other because he wouldn't let us pay for our drinks. We won in the end ... but had to leg it to make him accept the cash!

 

I have never met a man prouder of his fresh fish. And his wife Elizabeth says she would only serve food she would be happy to give to her own family. Two typical dishes to try are bacalhau  a bras  (salted cod, onions and potatoes) and duck rice...

 

5 THINGS I miss about Portugal (but there are many more)

1. THE PEOPLE... laid back, charming, friendly, witty, kind. Obviously you meet the odd grumpy bod but, by and large, they're just great.... Meet Bruno (in the specs)  his parents run the Galleon Bar

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in Olhos. He  claims to  rarely sleep in the summer months when the bar stays open until the last customer leaves. He is at university but works at his parents' bar whenever he can.
He   says: "I work til maybe 4 in the morning, then I go to a party in Vilamoura, then have a nap in my car, then start work again. I go on the beach and maybe later have a swim. Then it's back to work til 4 in the morning again."

He was a stranger to me until the mighty Burton Albion FC had an important cup game and I asked him to find the match on his sports TV. Which he did, despite being dead on his feet through tiredness, and  stumbling about like a sleeping  man while setting up the café for the day. It is always good to see him and his family.

2. For all these reasons, and more, I miss the GALLEON BAR in Olhos de Agua  because it's in a great little spot, right by the sea. Nice cappuccinos. ....

3.  THE CLIMATE.... no explanation needed....

 4. PADDLING in the sea....

5. The PALM TREES.... and landscape....

 

 

Portugal Rules OK!: ARMEN, the barman... Falesia Hotel's barrel of lau...

Portugal Rules OK!: ARMEN, the barman... Falesia Hotel's barrel of lau...

Portugal Rules OK!: BRRH! Cold out of season? Do we look cold?

Portugal Rules OK!: BRRH! Cold out of season? Do we look cold?: NESH is a colloquial English word which means you feel the cold intensely. And that's a shame if you're a Brit because in this neck ...

BRRH! Cold out of season? Do we look cold?

NESH is a colloquial English word which means you feel the cold intensely. And that's a shame if you're a Brit because in this neck of the woods it's nearly always chilly, rainy, windy - or all three.

Plus we get snow and ice but not enough snow to have any fun with it. That's to say, not enough show to ski, or go husky sledding. Basically, for seven months of the year the UK is grey and dreary and for the other five months temperatures struggle to stay in double figures. For us, 21C is balmy and on the rare occasions we see the likes of 80F the newspapers go into meltdown and warn of sunstroke, hose pipe bans and the shops running out of barbecue sausages.

I tell you all this because I notice I have some readers in the good old US of A so want to give you the background of why I get so annoyed when friends moan that the weather is too cold in Portugal out of season. Maybe I have just been lucky but this was a BITINGLY COLD NEW YEAR'S EVE 2015... My lad had to wear knee length swimming trunks in a desperate bid to keep warm!

Yes,  it dropped cold at night and you needed a coat and jumper then, but for goodness sake, you could sunbathe in the day.

How about this for  a FREEZING FEBRUARY! Shiver me timbers!!

 

Not convinced yet? How about MISERABLE MARCH?

 

Ok, Ok, I've seen rain. One whole day of it one October. Relentless. But the next day it was glorious again. It was rainy this March (2015) too but we were still in shorts in the day time. All I can say is that I'm  very NESH and it's plenty hot enough for me pretty much anytime...

ABBA, Elvis and The Beatles, Portugeuse style

You might think this is all wrong.... But how about an ABBA tribute band with three women and one man? No, it can't work, can it? I can  never say for certain because I missed seeing this band on a trip to Portugal. Fell asleep after a huge meal. Drat and double drat!

To be honest, I don't need  to be entertained but some holidaymakers seem to expect cabaret and even bingo. Me? Nah. A walk on the beach followed by an ice cold beer is all I need....

 

But tribute  acts are plentiful in Portugal. How about this?

I haven't witnessed this Portuguese Elvis yet but plan to see him in action. Just for fun!

 

 

But I have seen the Portuguese Beatles, called The Bottles. This group of young lads are very good indeed. And I don't even like The Beatles. In the Algarve you'll see plenty of singers in bars, the dreaded Karaoke crops up, especially in Albufeira, and a touch of street busking....

 

But if none of that is your cup of tea you could just plump for the vegetable art course..

 

 

A man who REALLY knows how to relax!

To say my stress levels plummet when I reach Portugal is the understatement of the year. I am practically comatose. Sleepy, dopey and happy. Yes, I'm a bit of a dwarf too (5ft and proud).  The very moment I step off the plane at Faro Airport my blood pressure lowers.

Any road up, I love a hotel with the catchphrase 'Simply Relaxing'. That's the marketing tagline at the Falesia in Acoteias, which is always flying high on TripAdvisor as it's one of the best hotels in the entire Albufeira region but, thankfully, it's not in Albufeira itself.

Anyway, I am not the only one who feels this way, as this picture shows. You've heard of  the fairy-tale The Princess and the Pea? The princess slept on 20 mattresses but could still feel a single pea underneath them all. Well, I wonder if she'd have felt the pea through 20 sunbeds or thereabouts?!

Some people go to hotels where they have to set their alarms for 6am in the race to put their towels on the sunbeds to bag their day in the sun. Not so at the Falesia because they have more than enough sunbeds to go around. Here's the proof!

 

Now THAT'S what I call 'SIMPLY RELAXING'

This guy knows how to chill and how about that for sunbed riches?

Fancy this in your sandwich?

Beach lovers will be in ecstasy in Portugal. The first time I took my partner Martin there, his jaw hit the floor. He was in beach paradise. I've never known anyone stand on the edge of a beach and look at the sea for SOOOOO long! Whenever we go, we walk for miles, search rock pools and find, well, some pretty odd things, like this...

 

Know what this is? Answer at the end of this blog.

 

 

 

But.... the best thing about being on the beach is looking at views like this..

 

 

The funniest thing I ever heard on a beach came from the lips of a middle aged British woman carrying a jam jar. She randomly approached a startled young Portuguese man and asked: "Do you know where I can find some shells?"

The look of astonishment/shock/cluelessness on his face was priceless!

 

If she had asked, where can I find some sand, it wouldn't have seemed any more ridiculous....

 

Finally, full marks to anyone who recognised the sea cucumber! 😊 Well done you.

Portugal, the total anthithesis to car-obsessed UK

Drive an old motor in England and you're looked down on like a leper. Materialistic Brits obsess over cars, spend thousands on them and talk about engine sizes, start-stop technology and dampers. How boring is that! I only got rid of my last faithful motor, a Peugeot 106 diesel, after 10 years because slugs were mysteriously getting inside  it and giving me a nasty, sqelchy shock when I pressed the accelerator. No idea how or why they got in. My mechanic  was baffled too.

Consequently, another thing I like about Portugal is the fact that you're more likely to see an old car than a new one, and flash Harry types are few and far between. Instead, look out for gems like this....

Apparently cars are expensive in Portugal and the economy means disposal incomes don't run to new cars every five minutes, but the country is all the better for it, I feel. No Audi drivers hugging your bumper, no boy racers in Lamborghinis... but you will see some classic motors looking immaculate.

ARMEN, the barman... Falesia Hotel's barrel of laughs

Portuguese and Brits united by sense of humour

LAUGHS, and plenty of them, are guaranteed whenever I'm in Portugal. Why? Because they have the same sense of humour as us. And this isn't even a joke, it's a real warning road sign! We could do with a few zillion of these in the UK...

The Brits have a biting, sarcastic, sardonic wit that, let's face it, some nations just don't get. I was in Canada once on a press trip with a bunch of fellow journalists and it was the done thing to trade a few playful insults.

I will never forgot the look of utter horror on our Canadian guide's face when Miranda hurled a cutting jibe at Jonny over his 'bum-fluff' facial hair because he hadn't bothered to shave.  It was just in jest. They knew it, I knew it, all the Brits knew it. We all smirked on unison while Jonny bit back with equal ferocity (in jest). The only one who didn't realise just a joke was the horrified Canadian who thought he was about to witness a typical scene from EastEnders (British soap where everyone shouts ALL the time. I never watch it!)

Sarcasm is the way we roll, and the Portuguese are brilliant at it too. So much so, it's a joy to behold. They are also great actors. Ask them for another beer on a red hot day and they will say, with deadpan expression: 'I am sorry, all the beer is finished.'

After you've ranted and huffed and puffed they'll burst out laughing and say: 'Only joking!'

Simple humour maybe, but I love it. In Britain we have a name for it: banter.

I once asked for a very small cappuccino at Hugo's Tapas (great little bar in Acoteias) and this is what I got....

Yep.... a VERY small cappuccino! In an espresso cup. Brilliant. That's what I love about the Portuguese. Always ready to have a laugh, and make me laugh....

As for the aforementioned road sign?! I couldn't get over it. Brilliant but a bit off-putting if you're just on your way out for your evening meal....

Algarve addicts unite....

WHAT'S THE ALGARVE'S WINNING FORMULA?

 

Well, how about oodles of laid-back charm. This is February in Ohlos de Agua. It should be easy to see why it was love at first sight.  I escaped a grey and depressing British winter and found myself here, and the holiday for three came in at less than £500 (flights and B&B). Pretty impressive, I'd say...

 

My sons loved it too. I thought it would be too quiet for them. But no. They thought it was great. They were 12 and 15 respectively when they first went to Portugal.

How about that for a beach.... to yourself? Unless you're sun-tanned obsessed go out of season and enjoy long beach walks. Natural springs rise out of the sand in  Olhos de Agua, which means eyes of water.  When the tide is out you can walk for miles. We walked from Ohlos to Vilamoura once but I don't recommend it unless you're bursting with energy!! Or a bit crazy, like me! It took much longer than we anticipated .... I felt like I was wandering through the Sahara!