2. We're a tiny island surrounded by sea and sand but get hardly any sun! All that beach and, for the most part, if you attempt to walk across one the wind holds you back, your hair shooting out behind you like a flame, waterproofs plastered to your body as the rain pummels down relentlessly. It's grim and, sadly, because of our dire weather a lot of seaside towns are lost and forlorn relics of a past before cheap flights abroad arrived.
3. Intense, money-obsessed, materialistic lives driven by greed. New cars and keeping up with Jones's is a nauseating pastime. As for taking selfies.... give me strength.
4. The Daily Mail, David Cameron, George Osborne, elitist Oxbridge university clubs with #piggate scandals, Simon Cowell and all those stupid TV reality shows. Flock Stars was the final straw for me. And Simon, some people don't want to see a dog win BGT. A cat, maybe....
5. Snobbery and thinking we're something special when some Brits have less charm than a baboon's armpit. And what's with all the tattoos and piercing!? David Beckham's got a lot to answer for.
6. The north-south divide. We are a very uneven nation with most of the wealth greedily swallowed up by the south east. The joke is no-one in the south is aware of anything north of Watford. Actually, that's not a joke. It's a fact. When the BBC decided to relocate staff to Manchester no one wanted to go. They had to practically beg people to leave London, which is odd because whenever I go to London I can't wait to get away from the place.
So, it's hardly surprising I regularly feel the need to swap all that for my beloved Portugal.
And sorry for the rant. It's not been the best of Mondays, and it's raining. Again. Just feast your eyes on this and look to the horizon.... it's picture therapy time....
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