Sneak preview of new bedrooms at top Algarve hotel

 

 

The Falesia Hotel in Acoteias, Portugal, is one of my favourite hotels ever.  Here's why...

1. The staff are SO nice. Previous blog posts mention Armen the barman, a great character at the hotel, but there are many others who are equally kind and welcoming. In my opinion, the staff deliver five-star service in every way. Last time we were there, Carlos,  the manager, made such a fuss of us we were gobsmacked.  My partner told him: 'You make me feel like the king of Portugal.'  He replied: 'You are the king of Portugal.' If a hotel makes you feel like royalty, it's got to be good. Meet Ilidio, below, one of many great staff...

2. The gardens are beautiful. It's like stepping into the Garden of Eden. A water feature with pools, waterfalls and bridges meanders down, filled with fish. There is bags of shade and space under exotic trees. Birds fly, dragonflies hover, fish glide and very shy frogs make themselves heard, though you rarely see one. On a sunny day, it is quite simply heaven on earth.

 

 3. The hotel is having a huge revamp this winter so will be even better. All bedrooms are being modernised and the WiFi (free, by the way) will be updated. We liked the old rooms, though admit the bathrooms were tired. A handful of rooms were modernised in advance to allow customers to choose their favourite. The new rooms have superb bathrooms, better lighting and more power points. Here is a sneak preview followed by a picture of an old room with a tradional Portuguese feel.

 

4. Facilities are good. Believe it or not, the sun does not always shine in Portugal so it is good to have an indoor pool, a spa where you can book a massage, TV and reading lounge.

 

5. The food choice is huge, though you do feel fit to burst after two or three days! There is low calorie and gluten-free options if you're more disciplined than me!

DRAWBACKS: I have to mention a few things that may put some people off this hotel. Firstly, it is adults only (sorry folks with kids). You have to be 16 or over. I just qualify!
That means it is very peaceful but the clientele is generally older. If you're ageist or think you're 18-30 material, it's not for you. The hotel is only around 20 minutes by taxi from FARO Airport but it is a little tucked  away.
There are bars nearby, places to eat and a couple of supermarkets but some people find it too quiet. It takes about 25 minutes to walk to the nearest village, Olhos, and about 15-20 minutes to reach the beach. However, there is a free bus to the beach.
Finally, it's a Thomson Gold hotel which means, from May to October, it has an entertainment programme. We avoid it as it dominates the main show bar and it's not our bag. But you may like that sort of thing. Finally, if you do fancy trying this hotel be careful to book the right one. Falesia is the name of the nearby beach and lots of hotels and apartments have it in their name. Shop around for the best deals and find out more about the hotel at www.falesia.com.

 

 

Weird woman with moustache in Portugal!

Hit menopause and you can expect to wake up with a beard more fulsome than Santa's in the morning... or you may simply sport a lovely moustache, like this....

Yes folks, it's me with the big, black moustache which I wore this week in honour of comedy genius Armen the barman who provides constant unexpected entertainment at the Falesia Hotel in Acoteias,  Portugal.

Armen, second from left, is just adorable as is his colleague Ilidio, left. By the way, his moustache is fake, too, as is my partner's Martin's, second from right. It was a just-for-fun joke to make Armen smile ... in return for the fact that he has  made us laugh so many times over the years. He also makes a mean cocktail. It took us a while (about five minutes!) to get Armen's sense of humour but we love it and visiting Portugal just wouldn't be the same without seeing him.

Armen is from Armenia, the first Christian country in the world, and has perfect comedy timing. Ilidio is another charmer with bags of quiet charisma and, like many of his colleagues, brilliant English skills.

I have said it before and I'll say it again, the Portuguese and, it seems, the Armenians have the same sense of humour as us Brits.

Know any famous Armenians? Well, there is British TV's David Dickenson and.... CHER... her father was an Armenian-American truck driver. Armen was proud to tell us that.

He didn't mention that reality stars (I prefer to call them cleavage stars) the Kardashians also have roots in Armenia, along with tennis star Andre Agassi and Charles Asnavour.

It's a travesty of justice  that the Kardashians only have to burp to make the news when Armen has genuine talent and does not need to strip naked and paint himself gold to catch our eye. Soon he will be heading home for winter with his lovely wife Olga, who also works at the same hotel and makes the most amazing cakes and towel sculptures! Beat that Kim Kardashian!

6 GREAT tips to save cash and find a SUPERB Algarve holiday

If you fancy trying Portugal for the first time but don't know where to start, here's some recommendations to grab a piece of paradise, without shelling out too much ....

First of all, a glimpse of paradise... this is Olhos de Agua (Aga if spellcheck had its way). The beauty of going there is that it's only about 30 minutes by car from FARO Airport, so here's some tips to make the most of a trip from the UK  to gorgeous old Portugal.

 

 

1. FLIGHTS: Ryanair, Monarch and Jet2 all go to FARO. I like the www.onthebeach search engine as it offers lots of combinations to find you the cheapest flights. For example, it may suggest flying out from EMA and coming back to Birmingham, with two different airlines. Flight prices vary wildly and if you repeatedly do the same search on your computer you may pay an inflated price. Tip: clear cookies after every search. The best bargains are out of season, flying midweek. I have read that booking six weeks before is the optimum time to get the best price. I am not convinced. My rule of thumb is never to pay much more than £100 per person for a return flight from the UK to FARO. But this budget will be busted in school holidays and high season. Having said that, I have paid as little as £70 return out of season, and know people who have got them for £50.

2. AIRPORT TRANSFERS: If you stick to resorts near FARO, the distance is so short I really recommend a cab. Yes you can book a shuttle bus or just get the bus, but why make it hard on yourself and waste precious holiday time. You're looking at about 60 euros return for a taxi transfer from Faro to your accommodation and vice versa. That's for up to four people. The company I love, because they've NEVER let me down is www.yellowishfishtransfers.com. You can book online but I just drop them an email with my flight details, they send me a voucher and you pay the driver in full when you get there. They are very tech-savvy and send you email reminders. You even get a free gift, usually a small bottle of wine. Good, reliable people always waiting for you in the 'arrivals' , in uniform and with your name displayed on a tablet PC.

3. RESORTS: I have not stayed in all of these places near FARO but know enough to help you make a decision.
Albufeira town: If you like karaoke bars and dancing all night, this is for you. For me, it's a bit too much like Blackpool in the sun, though the old town is nice, as is the beach. It's a bustling resort with plenty to see and do.
Tavira:  The Portuguese recommend this as a taste of real Portugal. Less touristy, more authentic.
Olhos de Agua village: My favourite. Small place, no high rise, no nightclubs, amazing beaches, plenty of places to drink and eat out but not at all snobby.
Vilamoura: Golfers love this place. Glamorous marina full of yachts but, for me, it just seems to be  full of Irish sports bars and a little soulless. But, as I said, golfers love it.
Quarteira: Bustling town flanked by a huge beach  and famous for its markets. However, it hasn't got the all-out party feel of Albufeira nor the small scale paradise of Olhos.
Acoteias: Small suburb with some lovely accommodation and a handful of bars near Falesia beach. You'll find the Sheraton Pine Cliffs here where, I am told, the Beckham family have stayed. Not sure if that is true but it wouldn't surprise me. For many, it is far too quiet but if you want peace this is perfect. You can walk to Olhos in about 25 minutes, five minutes in a cab.
Vale do Lobo: Again, loved by golfers. I have had mixed reports. A friend who went there in September 2015 loved it so much she is rebooking for 2016. Another said the place was far too expensive to eat out, which is not normally a problem in Portugal. You see tourist menus for, typically, 7.50 euros a head, starter,  main and dessert!

4. ACCOMMODATION: This is the biggie. Get this wrong and the holiday is ruined. Comparison websites such as Tripadvisor are a vital tool but, if the location is not right for you, the quality of rooms won't help. Anyway, here are my five recommendations:
Self-catering: The Cabrita apartments, Olhos de Agua www.algarvecabrita.com. Great location and reviews.
3-star  hotel: The Velamar Sun and Beach Hotel, Olhos de Agua (www.velamar.pt) Superb for the money. You could pay as little as £22 for two people, B&B low season, about £56 per night for two high season. Not for party animals but lovely for an affordable short break.

4-star hotel: Porto Bay Falesia, Olhos de Agua. Excellent hotel in a great location overlooking the Falesia beach. Bags of luxury,  indoor as well as outdoor pool, games room, tennis courts. You can snap up a week's B&B here for as little as £450 out of season. Price soars in high season. Though I really rate this hotel and would stay there again it is a little too large to feel personally connected to the place. Have to say, though, the best happy hour drinks ever. Some hotels give you cheap spirits only in happy hour. Not here!  www.portobay.com

 

LAST BUT NOT LEAST: Hotel Falesia, Acoteias - simply the best. This is an adults-only hotel (over-16s) with amazing gardens, food and staff. NOT for people who want party antics but if you want to get away from it all, and don't mind a generally older clientele, you should love chillaxing here. It has an indoor pool and spa, too. The only downside for me is that it is a Thomson Gold hotel which means it has entertainment in the main showbar from May to October. If that's not your bag either, use the pool bar in the evenings or head to a local bar. Simple! www.falesia.com

 

 

 

5. KEEP IT SIMPLE: If you are weary don't over complicate your holiday. Avoid long transfers. Make it as stress-free as possible by choosing great flight times. It is worth paying  a bit more to fly out in the morning, say 8am, and the perfect return flight time is 11am. Flying from your closest airport at the best possible times will make your holiday even better. You won't save money by choosing an airport further away and flying at 11pm is a nightmare. On the day you have to go home, you just want to get home. That way you maximise the benefits of you holiday.

 

6. HOTEL BARGAINS: Shop around. I can't emphasise this enough. Prices vary wildly. Comparison sites like Tripadvisor and Trivago will give you the rates for a hotel or apartment from half a dozen different booking websites. Also check the price against that offered by the hotel. I just bagged a deal by contacting an apartment direct. She knocked 15 per cent off the online price. All I have to do is pay her in cash on arrival. She then avoids paying commission to an agency or credit card. Cash-back websites are also useful but can be deceiving. I found what I thought was a good deal and then tried to gain discount through a cash-back website. It came up at a HIGHER price. Even booking direct through the site offering the best room rate came out higher than a link I found through Trivago. It's a game and you have to play it to win the best deal. Happy bargain hunting!

 

A man who REALLY knows how to relax!

To say my stress levels plummet when I reach Portugal is the understatement of the year. I am practically comatose. Sleepy, dopey and happy. Yes, I'm a bit of a dwarf too (5ft and proud).  The very moment I step off the plane at Faro Airport my blood pressure lowers.

Any road up, I love a hotel with the catchphrase 'Simply Relaxing'. That's the marketing tagline at the Falesia in Acoteias, which is always flying high on TripAdvisor as it's one of the best hotels in the entire Albufeira region but, thankfully, it's not in Albufeira itself.

Anyway, I am not the only one who feels this way, as this picture shows. You've heard of  the fairy-tale The Princess and the Pea? The princess slept on 20 mattresses but could still feel a single pea underneath them all. Well, I wonder if she'd have felt the pea through 20 sunbeds or thereabouts?!

Some people go to hotels where they have to set their alarms for 6am in the race to put their towels on the sunbeds to bag their day in the sun. Not so at the Falesia because they have more than enough sunbeds to go around. Here's the proof!

 

Now THAT'S what I call 'SIMPLY RELAXING'

This guy knows how to chill and how about that for sunbed riches?

ARMEN, the barman... Falesia Hotel's barrel of laughs