8 TIPS IF YOU FANCY NEW YEAR'S EVE IN PORTUGAL

 

These pictures were taken on this very day this time last year, December 28, 2014. My family jetted off to good old Portugal for new year. So what can you expect at this time of year?


1. It was colder than we expected at night. Take a coat and scarf for the outdoors and slippers for the hotel room. Tiled floors are no joy on bare feet in winter.

2. In the day you could sunbathe on the beach but at night the temperature wasn't much above freezing, about 4C. This year the temperatures are showing highs of 17C and lows of 10C so it's pleasant but you need to dress for every eventuality.

 

3. But though chilly at night there was bags of sunshine and blue skies, a rarity at this time of year in the UK. A chance to overdose on Vitamin D.

 

4. We had been told that Albufeira was the place to be for a magnificent fireworks display on NYE and that cabs would be hard to come by. We managed to get taxis fairly easily both ways, though you have to be clever and sharp-eyed on the way home. Oh, and maybe we were lucky but cab prices did not double on NYE like they do in the UK. The fireworks were not as impressive as we expected though it's true to say the whole town comes out for them and gathers near the beach. There's music, too, and the festivities are broadcast live on TV. Funny thing is, you could sit in a bar watching the frolics on TV that were happening right outside in the square and it looked as if there were hundreds of people there. In fact, only a hundred or so folk were gathered round the TV cameras at any one time. TV trickery.  I know all about that thanks to my BGT experiences!

 

5. Be prepared for some drunken behaviour. Chavvy Brits let the UK side down in Albufeira on NYE 2014 with one family encouraging their teen son to do an impromptu striptease in a bar. Dear oh dear oh dear.... Not what you want to see just after you've eaten, or anytime!

 

 

 

6. Would we go back to Portugal for NYE? Yes, but I'd go to a different town or city to see in the new year. I have since heard Tavira is good. And surely Lisbon must put on a quality show?

7. If travelling to Portugal out of season, many bars and restaurants are shut. You can always find somewhere to eat or drink but the choice is more limited.

8. Flights are also limited and more expensive. Book early to get a half decent price.

9. If you want a real new year bargain, head off in early January. Amazing deals! Treat yourself to a spa hotel with an indoor pool.

10. If you're a wild party animal, I suspect Portugal may not be for you at NYE. But if you love beaches to yourself, long walks and lazy days, go for it.

 

Below.... me on New Year's Eve, 2014

 

 

6 flying experiences I'd rather not repeat

FLYING is an experience, sometimes for all the wrong reasons! But it certainly gives you something to talk about.... Here are five of my flying anecdotes:

 

THE HOOTERS STAG
I thought I was imagining it. A grown man in the tightest, pinkest, shortest shorts you ever did see, massive curly wig, pantomime dame-style make-up and teeny weeny Hooters' girl T-shirt. And he was heading for passport control. No wonder anyone can get in and out of the UK. He was the stag leading a party of mates on a wild week away. I often wonder what the rest of the world thinks about the Brit passion for fancy dress. Anyway, the drinks were already flowing. It was raucous but friendly raucous. He made it through passport control, as did his chums, and I have never seen a plane drinks trolley emptied so quickly. Bottles of Champagne were bought en masse ... along with gin, vodka, beer etc etc. You get the picture. The funny thing was there was also a hen party on the plane but by the time the drinks trolley reached them the booze had gone. The looks of fury on the girls' faces were priceless, especially when the stag lads toasted them, glasses raised, and said 'cheers!'

THE PORTUGEUSE CHUCKLE BROTHERS
Flight attendants are usually a slick bunch but on one flight I met a pair who were so wonderfully hopeless (I loved them for it) I wondered if they were Ant and Dec in disguise. For foreign readers, Ant and Dec are UK entertainers who often don spectacular disguises to pretend to do other people's jobs (badly) for comedy value. The Portuguese Chuckle Brothers kept forgetting things, got stuck in the aisles, stuck by the trolley, just generally stuck. It was as if they had never set foot on a plane before. The clever mid-aisle gesturing to colleagues for another bag of Maltesers, a skill most flight attendants have, was simply not there. I have never seen two people hurtle back and forth up a plane so many times. It was chaos, but entertaining chaos. Despite it all, they never stopped smiling. those good old Portuguese. Nor did I!

THE LAD WHO BEGGED FOR MILK
Stags and hens may be wild en route to the sun but coming home is a very different affair. The change in behaviour is immense. One group of stags looked a sickly bunch as they flew back to England. After days of over indulgence, young men who had demolished the drinks trolley out-bound were now pale and pasty wrecks of their former selves.  Some could hardly talk. One lad was particularly delicate. I heard him ask the air hostess in a croaky whisper: "Can I have some milk please?" He then went into a comatose state and, throughout the flights, his 'friends' balanced an interesting variety of items on his head, such as empty beer cans, and then took pictures of him, no doubt to produce a lovely set of holiday snaps to show his mum!

THE MAN WHO COULDN'T FASTEN HIS SEATBELT
I have seen some weighty people on planes before but one chap across the aisle from me was so large his stomach touched the seat in front. There was no way on this earth he could fasten his seatbelt. He was wedged tight. But he never stopped eating for two hours.

THE PICNIC FAMILY
Talking of food, lots of people take their own sarnies on budget flights. I have no issue with that but once found myself sitting among a large group of Brits travelling together. Between them they had the contents of a small supermarket in their hand luggage. It turned out to be intensely annoying. Sausage rolls, sweets, sarnies and crisps were thrust past my face at five-minute intervals throughout the flight and comments like this were yelled in my ear (meant for a woman just the other side of me in the next row): "Mavis, Mavis, MAVIS, ask Mavis if she wants some Maltesers."  I was ready to crush the Maltesers!

LOUD, ROUGH & RUDE
Here's the thing. I detest people who are vulgar, swear, shout, glare, look for arguments and have the manners of a wild beast in public. That's in the street, on a plane, at an airport, anywhere in fact. It's basic manners, basic common sense. It's about respecting your fellow human beings and their space. It's about respecting the fact that parents don't want their toddlers to learn the f-word courtesy of a lewd and uncouth stranger. What you do in your own home is your own business but don't inflict it on the rest of us. I've heard terrible rows in airport queues, effing and blinding, threats of violence, children bellowed at and aggressive nastiness.  Luckily, I don't see it every time I fly but standards of basic human decency are unbelievably low among a minority of people. Jet2 is leading a campaign to stop unacceptable behaviour on flights, which, aside from the drunkenness, has included passengers fighting and stripping off. Force them all to read every volume penned by Jane Austin 10 times, say I. Manners maketh the man, and the woman. Grow up and get a  grip.

Portugal Rules OK!: Portugal cliff collapse destroys my favourite beac...

Portugal Rules OK!: Portugal cliff collapse destroys my favourite beac...: This sight greeted my eyes in Olhos de Agua, Portugal, in October, 2015.... My favourite beach view bench was almost no more. The...

Portugal cliff collapse destroys my favourite beach viewpoint

This sight greeted my eyes in Olhos de Agua, Portugal, in October, 2015....

My favourite beach view bench was almost no more. The wind and rain had taken its toll on the cliff sending huge chunks of sandy rumble tumbling to the ground, closely followed by a few fence panels..... This is how it used to look....

 

Here is the end of the bench you can see in the top picture. I was lying on it on December 31, 2014, sunning myself in  the gentle winter heat.  I used to love climbing up here to take in the glorious views and catch a few rays of winter sunshine.... This is what I could see either side...

 

 

 

This is another shot of the collapse....

 

 

The Algarve suffered some terrible floods and rain in the autumn and this photo was taken BEFORE the worst of the weather. I felt so sad when I saw this. A reminder of nature's might.

But I'll find another perfect vantage point, just you wait and see....

 

JILL

 

Portugal Rules OK!: Is this the biggest character in Portugal with mag...

Portugal Rules OK!: Is this the biggest character in Portugal with mag...:  Meet Ruy, the owner of Black Cat's bar in Olhos de Agua He's with BGT magician Luca Gallone (lucagallone.com)     B...

Is this the biggest character in Portugal with magician Luca Gallone?

 Meet Ruy, the owner of Black Cat's bar in Olhos de Agua

He's with BGT magician Luca Gallone (lucagallone.com)

 

 

Bars are always home to interesting characters and few are more interesting than Ruy, who at 62 (I am told) runs a little jazz bar  called Black Cat's in Olhos de Agua

He is dapper, and I mean dapper. He tells me he has friends in the fashion industry who post clothes to him. I can believe it. Olhos isn't awash with designer boutiques.

 

He's been very poorly. I understand he's had throat cancer. He's lost his voice completely but still runs his bar. How? He writes down what people owe him on a bit of paper. Simple!

The bar is ... well ....unusual.... he loves to decorate it himself and it's kinda quirky. Apparently he's renowned in the village for his heavy reliance on Sellotape. The cats, above, are part of the interior décor.... check out his tables and interior atmosphere. It is a tad dark!

 

My antiques addict partner reckons the art deco tables are worth a fortune. Ruy told us a friend gave them to him. Good friend!

The bar is not what you would call plush. It's tiny, Ruy plays music on an old music centre, sometimes nodding off on a quiet night. But he just loves people and, somehow, creates a very special atmosphere. People find themselves talking to complete strangers in his bar, making friends and returning night after night...

 

A friend who went there on my recommendation said: "I couldn't believe where you'd sent me! It was tatty and dusty with cobwebs....but we loved it.  It hooked us. We ended up going back every night. I joked to my husband that it must have been black magic!"

 

My neighbours did exactly the same. They couldn't believe it when Ruy told them to pay the next night because he'd run out of change. Of course they went back. Every night! And bought him a present next time they went to the village.

 

My teenage son, professional magician Luca Gallone, introduced me to Ruy.

"He's just such a nice person," he told me, "really generous and kind."

 

We went there one night and me, a person who is usually nodding off at 9pm, was still in Black Cat's at 2am one crazy October evening.... madness! But great. Especially for me.

 

Finally, check out this cocktail he made Luca. Chocolate buttons, squirty cream? Who knows but it made me smile... The world needs more Ruys ...

 

 

Don't let fear destroy our love of travel

 

Recent events have left us all shell-shocked. As I write, Belgium is in lockdown over a terror threat, Paris is still at the forefront of our minds and arrests are taking place  across Europe and beyond as the security services try to get to grips with Isis.

 

It's all felt very close to home; very disquieting; very upsetting.

 

Paris was horrific and came on top of a Russian plane being downed en route from Egypt and the Tunisia beach massacre. One of my best friends worked with a woman slaughtered on the beach at the start of what should have been her annual break.

 

Shortly afterwards my lovely pal  was due to travel to Turkey for a family holiday and was close to cancelling. She did, in fact, cancel a birthday trip to Paris last January due to the Charlie Hebdo attack. Her young son was too frightened to go after seeing the news.

 

Suddenly, holidays don't feel like a great idea at all. In fact just last week my neighbour (not a keen flyer at the best of times)  said: "I don't think it's safe to fly anywhere."

But life can't stop. If we let terror and anxiety cripple our lives we would never leave the house, never enjoy intoxicating new experiences, see fresh places, make great friends...

 

 

Consequently, I already have two holidays booked for 2016, one in my beloved Portugal and one in Spain where we are meeting up with  some German friends for tapas.

 

So, don't let fear destroy you. Carry on living and look for destinations which reduce stress levels. I went to both Tunisia and Turkey many years ago but vowed never to go back. When you go to a country battling extreme poverty as a (perceived to be) wealthy Westerner it is deeply uncomfortable. I remember being desperate to explore Tunisia but a kindly local begged me not to.  After accompanying me and my friend on a local bus to a town nearby he said: "Please get on the next bus back, go straight to your hotel. You are not safe." I did just that.

As a 5ft 1in, 8st woman I recognise my limitations. Meanwhile, Turkey was superb in terms of food, sights and weather but you still felt that air of desperation on the streets as you were constantly approached by hawkers, one or two of whom became a tad aggressive when brushed away. Such was their desperation for money. Egypt I had never considered a good idea, due to its volatile political situation and geographical location.

 

One day, again many years ago, a hairdresser was telling me how much she loved holidays in Egypt.

 

"I've never fancied it due to the dangers in the country," I admitted.

 

"Oh, it's fine," she said. "You get a military escort from the airport!"

 

Mmmm... need I say more?

 

But, though there are places I choose to avoid, there are many places I would love to visit.  I'll probably end up doing a gap year when I am 80!  Sadly, spare time and finances severely limit me but I will continue to travel as much as I can. For the record, here are 10 places on my to-do or must-go-back-to list...

 

 

1. The Azores.... Portugal islands on the middle of nowhere. Gotta be bliss!

2. San Francisco, Alcatraz and California. Oh, to see much more of the good old  US of A.

3. Las Vegas (again) to see the Mac King magic show (again). Forget the casinos, it's the world capital of magic....

4. Sardinia.... love islands...

5. Canada (again) Such lovely people.... that's me, top pic, on a jet ski  in Newfoundland more than a decade ago. It was the press trip of a lifetime for  me. I skied for the first time and saw icicles about as big as me... So grateful for that opportunity.

6. Malta.... because I have heard it's simply great.

8. Thailand (know someone there who will give me a VIP experience, long story...)

9. Japan .... because it will be so, so different...

10. China... the new world super power, mysterious...

 

But, wherever I go in the world, I will always return to Portugal's gloriously empty out-of-season beaches.....Peace on earth and goodwill to all men....

 

Parisians have been dancing on their city streets this week to show they're not afraid.

 

Follow their example....

 

Jill 

 

Husband creche and other bargains!

Not sure why no-one has thought of this in England yet but a husband crèche could catch on over here. I have never used this service but, for the price of a pint, you can leave your better half at Pickwick's Tavern in Olhos de Agua - for hours. Bargain!

I have to confess I have never been to Pickwick's because I go away to get away from all things British. I don't want Sunday roast, shepherd's pie or a Nescafe coffee. Nevertheless, this sign always makes me smile.

I photographed a few more advertising boards just to share the bargain cost of a treat over there...

Coffee and a cake for 2 euros is not unusual. You can sometimes get a toasty for even less than that, or a pint for 1 euro. A jug of sangria for 5 euros is good value too. It all helps to keep the cost of a holiday down. In the Algarve, the ex-pat population and volume of British visitors means they are very well catered for. They can even buy my very own desert island food in the local supermarkets. Marmite!

Sneak preview of new bedrooms at top Algarve hotel

 

 

The Falesia Hotel in Acoteias, Portugal, is one of my favourite hotels ever.  Here's why...

1. The staff are SO nice. Previous blog posts mention Armen the barman, a great character at the hotel, but there are many others who are equally kind and welcoming. In my opinion, the staff deliver five-star service in every way. Last time we were there, Carlos,  the manager, made such a fuss of us we were gobsmacked.  My partner told him: 'You make me feel like the king of Portugal.'  He replied: 'You are the king of Portugal.' If a hotel makes you feel like royalty, it's got to be good. Meet Ilidio, below, one of many great staff...

2. The gardens are beautiful. It's like stepping into the Garden of Eden. A water feature with pools, waterfalls and bridges meanders down, filled with fish. There is bags of shade and space under exotic trees. Birds fly, dragonflies hover, fish glide and very shy frogs make themselves heard, though you rarely see one. On a sunny day, it is quite simply heaven on earth.

 

 3. The hotel is having a huge revamp this winter so will be even better. All bedrooms are being modernised and the WiFi (free, by the way) will be updated. We liked the old rooms, though admit the bathrooms were tired. A handful of rooms were modernised in advance to allow customers to choose their favourite. The new rooms have superb bathrooms, better lighting and more power points. Here is a sneak preview followed by a picture of an old room with a tradional Portuguese feel.

 

4. Facilities are good. Believe it or not, the sun does not always shine in Portugal so it is good to have an indoor pool, a spa where you can book a massage, TV and reading lounge.

 

5. The food choice is huge, though you do feel fit to burst after two or three days! There is low calorie and gluten-free options if you're more disciplined than me!

DRAWBACKS: I have to mention a few things that may put some people off this hotel. Firstly, it is adults only (sorry folks with kids). You have to be 16 or over. I just qualify!
That means it is very peaceful but the clientele is generally older. If you're ageist or think you're 18-30 material, it's not for you. The hotel is only around 20 minutes by taxi from FARO Airport but it is a little tucked  away.
There are bars nearby, places to eat and a couple of supermarkets but some people find it too quiet. It takes about 25 minutes to walk to the nearest village, Olhos, and about 15-20 minutes to reach the beach. However, there is a free bus to the beach.
Finally, it's a Thomson Gold hotel which means, from May to October, it has an entertainment programme. We avoid it as it dominates the main show bar and it's not our bag. But you may like that sort of thing. Finally, if you do fancy trying this hotel be careful to book the right one. Falesia is the name of the nearby beach and lots of hotels and apartments have it in their name. Shop around for the best deals and find out more about the hotel at www.falesia.com.

 

 

Weird woman with moustache in Portugal!

Hit menopause and you can expect to wake up with a beard more fulsome than Santa's in the morning... or you may simply sport a lovely moustache, like this....

Yes folks, it's me with the big, black moustache which I wore this week in honour of comedy genius Armen the barman who provides constant unexpected entertainment at the Falesia Hotel in Acoteias,  Portugal.

Armen, second from left, is just adorable as is his colleague Ilidio, left. By the way, his moustache is fake, too, as is my partner's Martin's, second from right. It was a just-for-fun joke to make Armen smile ... in return for the fact that he has  made us laugh so many times over the years. He also makes a mean cocktail. It took us a while (about five minutes!) to get Armen's sense of humour but we love it and visiting Portugal just wouldn't be the same without seeing him.

Armen is from Armenia, the first Christian country in the world, and has perfect comedy timing. Ilidio is another charmer with bags of quiet charisma and, like many of his colleagues, brilliant English skills.

I have said it before and I'll say it again, the Portuguese and, it seems, the Armenians have the same sense of humour as us Brits.

Know any famous Armenians? Well, there is British TV's David Dickenson and.... CHER... her father was an Armenian-American truck driver. Armen was proud to tell us that.

He didn't mention that reality stars (I prefer to call them cleavage stars) the Kardashians also have roots in Armenia, along with tennis star Andre Agassi and Charles Asnavour.

It's a travesty of justice  that the Kardashians only have to burp to make the news when Armen has genuine talent and does not need to strip naked and paint himself gold to catch our eye. Soon he will be heading home for winter with his lovely wife Olga, who also works at the same hotel and makes the most amazing cakes and towel sculptures! Beat that Kim Kardashian!

Portugal Rules OK!: Smile when your heart is aching ... times so hard ...

Portugal Rules OK!: Smile when your heart is aching ... times so hard ...:   Returning to Portugal over and over again and getting to know the people more has its darker side... life is pretty tough for many of ...

Portugal Rules OK!: The world's first cat selfie? Meet Cat Kardashian....

Portugal Rules OK!: The world's first cat selfie? Meet Cat Kardashian....: Cat selfies are all the rage in Portugal. I blame the Kardashians. Here is Cat Kardashian, a Portuguese cat who just loves pouting for the ...

The world's first cat selfie? Meet Cat Kardashian...

Cat selfies are all the rage in Portugal. I blame the Kardashians. Here is Cat Kardashian, a Portuguese cat who just loves pouting for the camera.

 

 

This feisty little tiger came running up to me in the street and just couldn't keep her paws off my Samsung.... here are the results....

 

 

But, the fact is, like all cats, all she actually wanted was a bit of fuss...

And while on the subject of cats, mystery still surrounds the disappearance of famous feral street cat Mr No Ears who vanished from Albufeira.... Mr No Ears has more than 23,000 followers on Facebook campaigning for his return. They fear he has been kidnapped by people trying to obtain money for vet fees. It's all rather depressing if true. For the full story, visit Mr No Ears' Facebook page. Incidentally, cats often lose their ears in hot countries like Portugal because the delicate skin of the ear cannot contend with the strong sunlight. Here is the majestic Mr No Ears...