Why I'm craving blue skies, sunshine and, inevitably, Portugal

 

 

It's happened again. It always does. The dark, wet and soon to be -5C British winter (predicted next week, folks) has made me crave sunshine, crave warmth, crave light,  crave Portugal ...

 

It's crazy - I was last there not so long ago,  the end of October in fact. Just over two months have gone by and I'm wishing I was back there again. Here's why ....

 

 

The picture, above, was taken about five years ago one glorious February. I struck lucky. Not a drop of rain all  week and the  average daytime temperature of 18C felt glorious after a  bitterly cold British winter. In England, the seasons often blend into one, not too hot, not too cold but always lots of grey skies and rain. Plus, it's so dark. Dark when I drive to work and dark when I drive home.

At the start of that holiday I remember taking off from the UK  and watching as the plane climbed up through what seemed like miles of thick, dense cloud before reaching blue skies and sunshine above. What a relief it was to reach those heady heights.

What I didn't realise then was that Portugal was to become my must-visit destination of choice for years to come. My children love it, my partner loves it and  I love it. Oh for an empty beach....

 

 

 

 

The chaotic rat-race of UK life does grind you down. This week the nation went back to work after the Christmas holidays and, immediately, it's gridlock hell on the roads.

On Wednesday it took me nearly an hour-and-a half to get to work and an hour to get back. It should be a 25-minute journey each way. And my commute is nothing compared to some. The British travel for hours to reach jobs they don't even enjoy half the time.

A few day ago, a chap on the checkout at a local store (he looked about 28) looked exhausted. He told me he had three jobs, two of which were full-time, 40 hours per week each.

Don't ask me how he manages that! I asked and never got a plausible answer. He told me he juggled three jobs because he wanted to leave a legacy for his kids.

Just maybe, his kids would prefer to spend time with their great dad than have a legacy.

Brits often put money and work first. We race to life's finishing post, barely stopping for a sandwich, and fail to savour or enjoy our days half the time.

That's why I enjoy Portugal so much. Its tranquillity stops me in my tracks. It makes me live for the moment, savour the views, feel the sand between my toes. Time slows down, peace reigns and the idyllic beach walks seem to last forever. Like this sunset one, below. Wonder what paradise is like? You're looking at it, folks. Methinks it's time to go back...

 



8 TIPS IF YOU FANCY NEW YEAR'S EVE IN PORTUGAL

 

These pictures were taken on this very day this time last year, December 28, 2014. My family jetted off to good old Portugal for new year. So what can you expect at this time of year?


1. It was colder than we expected at night. Take a coat and scarf for the outdoors and slippers for the hotel room. Tiled floors are no joy on bare feet in winter.

2. In the day you could sunbathe on the beach but at night the temperature wasn't much above freezing, about 4C. This year the temperatures are showing highs of 17C and lows of 10C so it's pleasant but you need to dress for every eventuality.

 

3. But though chilly at night there was bags of sunshine and blue skies, a rarity at this time of year in the UK. A chance to overdose on Vitamin D.

 

4. We had been told that Albufeira was the place to be for a magnificent fireworks display on NYE and that cabs would be hard to come by. We managed to get taxis fairly easily both ways, though you have to be clever and sharp-eyed on the way home. Oh, and maybe we were lucky but cab prices did not double on NYE like they do in the UK. The fireworks were not as impressive as we expected though it's true to say the whole town comes out for them and gathers near the beach. There's music, too, and the festivities are broadcast live on TV. Funny thing is, you could sit in a bar watching the frolics on TV that were happening right outside in the square and it looked as if there were hundreds of people there. In fact, only a hundred or so folk were gathered round the TV cameras at any one time. TV trickery.  I know all about that thanks to my BGT experiences!

 

5. Be prepared for some drunken behaviour. Chavvy Brits let the UK side down in Albufeira on NYE 2014 with one family encouraging their teen son to do an impromptu striptease in a bar. Dear oh dear oh dear.... Not what you want to see just after you've eaten, or anytime!

 

 

 

6. Would we go back to Portugal for NYE? Yes, but I'd go to a different town or city to see in the new year. I have since heard Tavira is good. And surely Lisbon must put on a quality show?

7. If travelling to Portugal out of season, many bars and restaurants are shut. You can always find somewhere to eat or drink but the choice is more limited.

8. Flights are also limited and more expensive. Book early to get a half decent price.

9. If you want a real new year bargain, head off in early January. Amazing deals! Treat yourself to a spa hotel with an indoor pool.

10. If you're a wild party animal, I suspect Portugal may not be for you at NYE. But if you love beaches to yourself, long walks and lazy days, go for it.

 

Below.... me on New Year's Eve, 2014

 

 

6 flying experiences I'd rather not repeat

FLYING is an experience, sometimes for all the wrong reasons! But it certainly gives you something to talk about.... Here are five of my flying anecdotes:

 

THE HOOTERS STAG
I thought I was imagining it. A grown man in the tightest, pinkest, shortest shorts you ever did see, massive curly wig, pantomime dame-style make-up and teeny weeny Hooters' girl T-shirt. And he was heading for passport control. No wonder anyone can get in and out of the UK. He was the stag leading a party of mates on a wild week away. I often wonder what the rest of the world thinks about the Brit passion for fancy dress. Anyway, the drinks were already flowing. It was raucous but friendly raucous. He made it through passport control, as did his chums, and I have never seen a plane drinks trolley emptied so quickly. Bottles of Champagne were bought en masse ... along with gin, vodka, beer etc etc. You get the picture. The funny thing was there was also a hen party on the plane but by the time the drinks trolley reached them the booze had gone. The looks of fury on the girls' faces were priceless, especially when the stag lads toasted them, glasses raised, and said 'cheers!'

THE PORTUGEUSE CHUCKLE BROTHERS
Flight attendants are usually a slick bunch but on one flight I met a pair who were so wonderfully hopeless (I loved them for it) I wondered if they were Ant and Dec in disguise. For foreign readers, Ant and Dec are UK entertainers who often don spectacular disguises to pretend to do other people's jobs (badly) for comedy value. The Portuguese Chuckle Brothers kept forgetting things, got stuck in the aisles, stuck by the trolley, just generally stuck. It was as if they had never set foot on a plane before. The clever mid-aisle gesturing to colleagues for another bag of Maltesers, a skill most flight attendants have, was simply not there. I have never seen two people hurtle back and forth up a plane so many times. It was chaos, but entertaining chaos. Despite it all, they never stopped smiling. those good old Portuguese. Nor did I!

THE LAD WHO BEGGED FOR MILK
Stags and hens may be wild en route to the sun but coming home is a very different affair. The change in behaviour is immense. One group of stags looked a sickly bunch as they flew back to England. After days of over indulgence, young men who had demolished the drinks trolley out-bound were now pale and pasty wrecks of their former selves.  Some could hardly talk. One lad was particularly delicate. I heard him ask the air hostess in a croaky whisper: "Can I have some milk please?" He then went into a comatose state and, throughout the flights, his 'friends' balanced an interesting variety of items on his head, such as empty beer cans, and then took pictures of him, no doubt to produce a lovely set of holiday snaps to show his mum!

THE MAN WHO COULDN'T FASTEN HIS SEATBELT
I have seen some weighty people on planes before but one chap across the aisle from me was so large his stomach touched the seat in front. There was no way on this earth he could fasten his seatbelt. He was wedged tight. But he never stopped eating for two hours.

THE PICNIC FAMILY
Talking of food, lots of people take their own sarnies on budget flights. I have no issue with that but once found myself sitting among a large group of Brits travelling together. Between them they had the contents of a small supermarket in their hand luggage. It turned out to be intensely annoying. Sausage rolls, sweets, sarnies and crisps were thrust past my face at five-minute intervals throughout the flight and comments like this were yelled in my ear (meant for a woman just the other side of me in the next row): "Mavis, Mavis, MAVIS, ask Mavis if she wants some Maltesers."  I was ready to crush the Maltesers!

LOUD, ROUGH & RUDE
Here's the thing. I detest people who are vulgar, swear, shout, glare, look for arguments and have the manners of a wild beast in public. That's in the street, on a plane, at an airport, anywhere in fact. It's basic manners, basic common sense. It's about respecting your fellow human beings and their space. It's about respecting the fact that parents don't want their toddlers to learn the f-word courtesy of a lewd and uncouth stranger. What you do in your own home is your own business but don't inflict it on the rest of us. I've heard terrible rows in airport queues, effing and blinding, threats of violence, children bellowed at and aggressive nastiness.  Luckily, I don't see it every time I fly but standards of basic human decency are unbelievably low among a minority of people. Jet2 is leading a campaign to stop unacceptable behaviour on flights, which, aside from the drunkenness, has included passengers fighting and stripping off. Force them all to read every volume penned by Jane Austin 10 times, say I. Manners maketh the man, and the woman. Grow up and get a  grip.

Portugal Rules OK!: Portugal cliff collapse destroys my favourite beac...

Portugal Rules OK!: Portugal cliff collapse destroys my favourite beac...: This sight greeted my eyes in Olhos de Agua, Portugal, in October, 2015.... My favourite beach view bench was almost no more. The...

Portugal cliff collapse destroys my favourite beach viewpoint

This sight greeted my eyes in Olhos de Agua, Portugal, in October, 2015....

My favourite beach view bench was almost no more. The wind and rain had taken its toll on the cliff sending huge chunks of sandy rumble tumbling to the ground, closely followed by a few fence panels..... This is how it used to look....

 

Here is the end of the bench you can see in the top picture. I was lying on it on December 31, 2014, sunning myself in  the gentle winter heat.  I used to love climbing up here to take in the glorious views and catch a few rays of winter sunshine.... This is what I could see either side...

 

 

 

This is another shot of the collapse....

 

 

The Algarve suffered some terrible floods and rain in the autumn and this photo was taken BEFORE the worst of the weather. I felt so sad when I saw this. A reminder of nature's might.

But I'll find another perfect vantage point, just you wait and see....

 

JILL

 

Portugal Rules OK!: Is this the biggest character in Portugal with mag...

Portugal Rules OK!: Is this the biggest character in Portugal with mag...:  Meet Ruy, the owner of Black Cat's bar in Olhos de Agua He's with BGT magician Luca Gallone (lucagallone.com)     B...

Is this the biggest character in Portugal with magician Luca Gallone?

 Meet Ruy, the owner of Black Cat's bar in Olhos de Agua

He's with BGT magician Luca Gallone (lucagallone.com)

 

 

Bars are always home to interesting characters and few are more interesting than Ruy, who at 62 (I am told) runs a little jazz bar  called Black Cat's in Olhos de Agua

He is dapper, and I mean dapper. He tells me he has friends in the fashion industry who post clothes to him. I can believe it. Olhos isn't awash with designer boutiques.

 

He's been very poorly. I understand he's had throat cancer. He's lost his voice completely but still runs his bar. How? He writes down what people owe him on a bit of paper. Simple!

The bar is ... well ....unusual.... he loves to decorate it himself and it's kinda quirky. Apparently he's renowned in the village for his heavy reliance on Sellotape. The cats, above, are part of the interior décor.... check out his tables and interior atmosphere. It is a tad dark!

 

My antiques addict partner reckons the art deco tables are worth a fortune. Ruy told us a friend gave them to him. Good friend!

The bar is not what you would call plush. It's tiny, Ruy plays music on an old music centre, sometimes nodding off on a quiet night. But he just loves people and, somehow, creates a very special atmosphere. People find themselves talking to complete strangers in his bar, making friends and returning night after night...

 

A friend who went there on my recommendation said: "I couldn't believe where you'd sent me! It was tatty and dusty with cobwebs....but we loved it.  It hooked us. We ended up going back every night. I joked to my husband that it must have been black magic!"

 

My neighbours did exactly the same. They couldn't believe it when Ruy told them to pay the next night because he'd run out of change. Of course they went back. Every night! And bought him a present next time they went to the village.

 

My teenage son, professional magician Luca Gallone, introduced me to Ruy.

"He's just such a nice person," he told me, "really generous and kind."

 

We went there one night and me, a person who is usually nodding off at 9pm, was still in Black Cat's at 2am one crazy October evening.... madness! But great. Especially for me.

 

Finally, check out this cocktail he made Luca. Chocolate buttons, squirty cream? Who knows but it made me smile... The world needs more Ruys ...